2012: The Animation Apocalypse (Or Anipocalypse?)

The holiday season is nearing an end. I hope you all got that special gift you wanted, and gained several jolly pounds from absorbent amounts of feasting. It seems there’s only one thing left to do: ring in the new year! But looky what we have here! It’s the year 2012. And if Roland Emmerich films are to be believed, we’re rapidly approaching the end of the world. Crapballs. 

Well, if the end of the world is coming Dec 21, 2012, there’s really only one question I have…what’s my final year of animated films looking like? So I’m gonna do a quick look ahead at what animated goodies are on the horizon before the ol’ apocalypse, and quickly give my early opinions of each flick. Let’s see if this final year on earth is a worthwhile one for the animation fan! YEAH!

Beauty and the Beast (3D) - Jan. 13

We start out this doomed year by looking back on a classic love story. It’s arguably one of the most beloved animated movies ever; Disney’s Beauty and the Beast get’s a brand new shiny 3D re-release thanks to the top notch ticket sales of The Lion King’s 3D run. Really, my thoughts on this is the exact same as my thoughts on The Lion King in 3D. I’m not going to theatres because it’s in 3D; I’m going cause this is an amazing film. I always found the choice to use 3D on hand drawn animation odd… It’s almost like holding a beveled piece of paper infront of another piece of paper. Exciting, non? Beauty and the Beast is only one of many previous Disney and Pixar movies slated to get the 3D re-release treatment. It’s a shame we won’t get to Finding Nemo! Damn, pesky apocalypse…

The Secret World of Arrietty - Feb 17

Oh snap! We get a Studio Ghibli film before the apocalypse? Sign me up! Yeah, I know this movie was already released in other parts of the world; this is just the dubbed version. And yeah, typically in anime I’m a “subs b4 dubs” kind of man, but honestly Ghibli’s dubs are probably the best I’ve seen in anime. So yeah. I’m excited about this. Plus it’s based on The Borrowers! That just adds to the cool. Will I watch this in theatres? You bet! Will I watch it in the original japanese once I get ahold of my own copy? Also you bet. 

The Lorax - Mar 2

Eeeehhhhh…maybe…I don’t know….just maybe…it won’t suck. I’m hopeful…but I also have this deep seeded feeling that this movie is gonna suck hard. Ok listen. I’m a huge Dr. Seuss fan, but film adaptations of his works range from pure crap to “I didn’t hate that.” The latter being Horton Hears a Who, whom the writer of also wrote the script for this film. And a lot of people working on this also worked on Despicable Me. Hey, I didn’t hate that either! And Danny DeVito as The Lorax? Well, that sounds like perfect casting. Keeping my finger’s crossed on this one… Prove me wrong movie! Prove me wrong!

The Pirates! Band of Misfits - Mar 30

One thing I am grateful of is the amount of stop motion flicks before total global annihilation. Seeing as how long it takes to complete one of these films, it’s nice that these years of blood, sweat and plasticine won’t go to waste. And leading the bunch is the brits with Aardman Animation returning to their stop-motion roots, but without the talents of Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run director, Nick Park. Park’s absence is a bit off-putting, especially cause the characters are clearly modeled in his style. Regardless, the movie looks like a blast, and Aardman pretty much always delivers the goods. And hey! It’s pirates! They’re still popular, right guys? …guys? …whatever, I’m excited. 

Dorothy of Oz - May…??

No film on this list is as much a wild card as Dorothy of Oz. Slated to release…May-ish…all we have to go on this one is the knowledge that it’s a sequel to The Wizard of Oz and it’s a musical. No trailer to be seen, but there’s some gorgeous concept art. Let’s just hope May-ish is accurate and this one reaches the 2012 mark. T’would suck to enter the apocalypse without even knowing more about this movie. My curiosity on this one knows no bounds!

Ice Age: Continental Drift - July 23

Really? They’re making more of these? Sigh… well what else to say? I liked the first Ice Age, but this Dreamworks franchise is almost as guilty as The Land Before Time for prehistoric themed unwanted sequels. Almost. Also, isn’t the titular “ice age” already over in this franchise? That title really doesn’t make any sense anymore. Ahh, who am I kidding. Do I really care? No. Will I see this movie? Probably not. Compile a version that only has the Scrat scenes in it, and maybe we’ll talk.

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted - June 8

Speaking of Dreamworks and sequels nobody asked for…TA-DAH!! I don’t know…I’ve never really enjoyed this franchise. It seems to embody everything that people criticize Dreamworks Animation to be: a loud annoying film littered with animals doing things animals don’t normally do while making pop culture references abound. I expect nothing less. Also, like the pre-stated ”age of ice,” why is this franchise still called Madagascar? They haven’t been there since the first film. I know, branding and shit, but seriously Dreamworks! If you plan on having umpteenth animated sequels, you should have more foresight in naming your franchises. Seriously. 

Brave - June 22

Now this is more like it! After what many people consider Pixar’s first stumble with Cars 2, I think they’re in need of something very special to get them back into the grove of churning unfiltered dreams into animated gold. And Brave looks very special indeed. It’s a lot of firsts for Pixar: their first female lead character, their first time in a fantasy setting, their first…um…family of gingers? Regardless, this looks epic beyond belief. And it’s not a sequel! Or a remake! Just take my money, Pixar! Just take it! (Also, where in the world are they going to hide the Pizza Planet truck in this movie?!)

ParaNorman - Aug 17

Watch out Tim Burton! There’s more than one stop-motion, slightly creepy, animated movie coming out this year! Trying to jump on board with the same vibe as Coraline, ParaNorman follows a boy who can see and talk to ghosts as he’s tasked to save his town from a curse. Sounds fun to me! I don’t know the directors or writers of this one, so it can’t really fall back on credentials. But with so many movies being remakes and sequels, I’m always willing to give something new a shot. 

Frankenweenie - Oct 5

I have a love/hate relationship with Tim Burton. His early stuff is the stuff of goth kids’ wet dreams (that’s a compliment, by the way.) Vincent is still one of my favorit animated shorts, ever. But as time went on, I cared less and less if the Burton name was on a project. It didn’t help that most projects he directed were just remakes or reinterpretations of already existing franchises or stories…just making them more “twisted.” (Which, in Tim Burton land, means adding black and white stripes and spirals.) Luckily, Burton is finally getting back to his roots…by remaking his own shit. Ok, to be fair, even though there’s no trailer yet, this film, based on a live action short Burton directed early in his career, looks pretty damn cool. It’s classic Burton style with a classic Burton love of all things weird, creepy and fun, while still playing homage to classic horror movies. Don’t let me down this time, Tim. Hot Topic needs more t-shirt designs, after all. 

Rise of the Guardians - Nov 21

No trailer on this one either, and I knew nothing about this movie, so I consulted my good friend, IMDB, and it said, “Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Jack Frost and the Sandman band together to form a united front against the Bogeyman.” …soooo…it’s an holiday animated version of The Expendables? …this is either the greatest, or the worst idea for a movie…ever…there is no middle ground here.

And that’s all the theatrical animated releases before the ol’ end-o-days. Overall thoughts? …I’m actually pretty pumped! If this was my last year of animated goodness, we have some great variety in styles (hand drawn, CG, and stop-motion are all accounted for.) And on top of that, we also have a surprising balance between new and old (as in re-releases, remakes or just plane sequels.) There’s plenty of animated goodies I’m looking forward to before the apocalypse for sure! So I’m just gonna bringe on these forthcoming animated treats, and enjoy the apocalyptic ride. Bring it on, 2012!

Happy New Year folks!

- Moo